travel-log.

Lewat ini kurasakan kasih kian ku dambakan
resah hati yang ku pendam pada takdir dan harapan
Detik waktu dan suratan siapa tahu ketentuan
Ku mencari cahayaNya dalam bayang kegelapan
Nur kasih..
Nasib hidup dan pilihan
Lain untuk setiap insan
Melayarkan perjalanan dalam maya kesamaran
Nur kasih..
Aku kembali kerana masih
Mencari yang hakiki
Sinar pasti
Janji suci yang abadi..

Sometimes we can tolerate if we have to work extra hours, even if we have to turn down mom’s wish to come home sweet home on the weekend, missed friends weddings because we know it is our job and our duty. Having said that I lie if I say those reasons pretty much have no effect emotionally. Of course it has. Emotionally effected but have been buried deep down the heart. Not to say mentally. Been effected since, what, a year ago? Come to think of it now I wonder how on earth I can stand still until now. strong? No. Its just that when we spend some wise time to think straight, the result come up surprisingly. Maybe that’s the reason why I still manage to bear with all that until now.

But as human being and being Banie yg mmg kdg2 emo semacam, depression tu kdg2 perlu dilepaskan. Yes, they did come out but in a form of tears, as usual. Many times if u classify more than 1 as ‘many’.Those days when we left the office at night, once got in the car, there u go..’hang in there’ was just the sentence that somehow wont work the way it does anymore…so I wasted the tears along the journey home. by the time I reached home, I did feel a little better, for that day. Even now when we can go back home as early as we can, but to leave the office without thinking the balance task, the editing time which will be anytime soon, the pressure from the boss, is almost impossible.

Thank God only manja and I the living creature at home. And when manja is having a night shift is another relief as I can have time of my own. watching tv,
reading, do the ironing and ignore the head-ache, back-ache and ZZZZ..

Nasib hidup dan pilihan
Lain untuk setiap insan
Melayarkan perjalanan dalam maya kesamaran

Despite having running nose, non-stop coughs I pray hard not to fall sick, very sick. That will just make me feel guiltier if I have to take a leave. Fall sick is not a choice. Penghapus dosa kecil. So sila la tahan.
Being a busy QS also mean building up wall around us (for me la). The wall is building higher and higher by itself and won’t allow u to see, to get involved in what is happening outside your world (mostly when it comes to friends). You are too tired to even type a message and say Hi. u take more than 10minutes to reply a message. So kalau kawan kata kita sombong ke,senyap je,telan je la..dan minta maaf.

Bagi sy, lagi baik sy spend masa sorang2,baca buku,do whatever I want rather than keluar jmpa org dengan muka takde perasaan.muka takde mood. If I need to go take a strol all by myself pn tak kisah.no harms being a lone ranger. It’s actually a therapy tau. try that some time.

Ok.i should get back to work. i bought some books yesterday so I’m looking forward to reach home and continue. Travelog Dakwah Meniti Hari Esok, buku menarik,intipati menarik. Dalam keadaan diri yang tak berapa nak stabil ni,baikla baca buku2 yang menjana minda,yang mendatangkan insaf sikt. Hati pun tenang.

p/s: Amcorp is always a better choice for weekends. i truly don’t mind to visit there every weekend kalau takde apa2 hal. *_*